She'll be three soon. Three years old. Three. Where did the time go?

I was thinking the other day that I barely - just barely - remember holding her as a baby. She's so different now. I was also thinking about how our relationship has evolved during that time. I haven't put my finger on it entirely - but I'll try to explain:

When she was a baby, she had no choice but to let me kiss her and cuddle her - and take up all her time. She depended on me for everything - and her world was pretty narrow - so having dad slobber on her was okay. It was okay until her world started to expand a bit -- it expanded because old dad took her everywhere and showed her everything he loves about the world -- and so she took an interest in those things - and other things she found along the way.

Now, she can make choices. She has her own agenda. She's noodling things on her own. Which all means that she doesn't always have time to give old dad her complete attention - and I notice now that I get less and less attention - as she finds more interesting things in her world - dad is there, but not center stage.

I never thought about any of this before Mae. I was too consumed with the other things in my own world - but now, the interesting things in my life seem to revolve around Mae - learning how to care for her at each stage of her life, etc. It's a bit strange, really - our roles seem to somehow reverse as each year passes. I become more dependent on her - wanting love and affection from my adorable baby -- while she becomes less dependent on me and more curious and wanting of the world around her.

She's still a very loving child. She's still a daddy's girl. She still does most everything to please me - but she's developing her own space - and sometimes I'm allowed in that space, and sometimes - not. I think that's the evolution I've observed over three years - and I realize there's no end to it. I also realize how important it is to never let her forget that she'll always be my adorable little baby - no matter how large her world becomes -- and, also, I should find great comfort in knowing I helped her find her way in that world...