After 48 years I've finally learned something. Yep. Took me 48 long hard years to figure this out. Maybe it's because I'm a man that I just never got this. Maybe.

What is it I've finally learned? To READ THE *%$#$ DIRECTIONS!!!

Here's the story: I've been processing my own film for several years now. Most of the time everything turns out as expected. No problems at all. Negatives look great, and if there's an issue it's usually because I wasn't paying attention somewhere along the line. I know when I've screwed up. However --- lately --- I've been getting REALLY screwy results. I know I've driven several people crazy with my obsessing about it all. You know who you are. I apologize - really. And -- please don't beat me when I reveal what I'm about to reveal. Please. I feel bad enough.

So -- I've been getting strange blotchy crap on one side of the film strip. Not both sides. Just on ONE side. Crazy, I know. Rather than describing all the the combinations and permutations of craziness I went through to TRY to figure out the issue -- I'll just say that the remedy came to me serendipitously. There I was this afternoon, eating a turkey sandwich, feeding Lainey as she sat next to me. I decided to read the instructions on the Ilford fixer bottle. I decided I was going to start tonight with fresh chemicals to see if that resolved the issue. (I also spent about 100 bucks on new developing tanks!)

As I read the directions, I noticed a little side note about fixer shelf life. The fixer will last about 24 months in an air tight bottle - yep, I knew that -- about 6 months in a half-filled bottle - oh yeah, I knew that, too. Here's where my whole life became increasingly lucid -- the next line said: diluted fixer will last about SEVEN DAYS. Huh? Wait. SEVEN DAYS? No. That can't be right. No. NO!

You see. I've been keeping diluted fixer for -- well, way to long. Yes, I test it. No, it didn't appear to be exhausted -- but what I finally realized is diluted fixer that's more than seven days old will do some NASTY things to your film. NASTY. I know this first hand. I've just about lost my mind over this one little mis-read.

I kept wondering why the hell I'd have pristine negatives for, oh, about a week - and then, suddenly, things would go to hell in a hen basket. I'd lose sleep over it. I'd obsess. I'd write and call everyone I could think would know SOMETHING about film. You don't want to know who I sucked into this mess.

I'm ashamed. I've been doing this for a very long time. I should know better. I SHOULD HAVE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS!

Case solved. I am a loser. I don't deserve to live.

I have to get back to processing my film now :-)

Listening to: New York City - Norah Jones

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